“…and right when I think I can’t feel any worse, I start bleeding out my favourite orifice.”
Inní mér syngur vitleysingur
Blow-job, hand-job, nose-job
Last night I had a dream where I thought a nose-job was a sex act.
Oh, Darling →
Patrick Verona: I can’t be seen at club skunk. [Next scene, Patrick at Club Skunk] Bartender: Verona, what are you doing here tonight?
9 hours after I bought the coffee that caused my insides to have a crazy disco party and I’m starting to feel better.
If anyone ends up with any of my digestive organs when I die I hope they have better luck with them than I do.
I’ma letchu finish but Jester is the best cat of all time…
badkidsjokes: john your mom is a teacher but u dont know to read so what your dad is dentist and your sisters got no teeth
It’s called Port-mans but it only sells women’s clothes. - Clothes shopping with dad.
Discovered Garth Marengi’s Darkplace today.
I don't owe you anything
and other fabulous things I said tonight.
Damn, my arse/hips/thighs have grown. I feel like I’m going through some sort of belated puberty. It’s kinda fun. Gonna miss those green shorts though. Maybe I’ll keep ‘em for a while.